Scarred
by regie27
Summary: For lack of an appropriate summary, I'll quote this from Paramore: I can't let myself regret such selfishness. My pain and all the trouble caused, No matter how long I believe that there's hope


**Scarred**

**A Madlax fanfiction by regie27**

**Standard disclaimers apply**

To my beta, who understands the irresistible allure (and the insanity that comes with it) that is Madlax.

_This is how we'll dance when  
When they try to take us down  
This is how we'll sing it._

Paramore, "Let The Flames Begin"

The Gazth Sonika capital city lights sparkled brightly from afar under the midnight sky. The car left behind the neatly paved lanes of the highway as it traveled the more rustic roads of the nearby countryside at the outskirts of the city. The driver let out a sight of relief while she watched through the rearview mirror the convoy of military vehicles that pushed towards downtown Gazth Sonika capital. The sighting confirmed her observation that more she traveled away from the city, the lesser the military patrols were on sight. Apparently, the government concentrated their personnel and efforts to enforce the curfew inside the city, and she was glad for that because it meant she could at last relax behind the wheel. She glanced down to her forearm and grimaced. Her makeshift bandage wasn't doing too good of a job of containing her wound and that fact alone gave her enough motivation to continue towards her destination despite the lack of sleep and the exhaustion.

The sedan traveled with steady pace the twisting curves, penetrating deeper into the countryside. Lights flickered from the scattered residences behind well constructed fences. This part of the country had benefitted for years from being inside the capital's boundaries and therefore, part of the neutral zone from the war. Because of that, this zone offered the privacy and isolation of the countryside for those who felt weary of the city life yet appreciated living as far away as possible from the civil war that had turned the country apart. It was just the perfect place to lay low while things cooled down.

Madlax smiled in relief as she finally approached her destination. The property could be barely noticed from the road but her keen eyes caught the tire thread marks that denoted recent activity on the area. The house was simpler than those she had seen on her way here but it was solid and better yet, it was discreet and unremarkable. Madlax recognized with admiration that she had certainly done her homework well in choosing a hideout. The agent found a clearing behind some foliage and tress big enough for her to park her car and realized that the jeep was there. She glanced up. Camouflage netting completed the concealing effect, so from the road it would be almost impossible to notice the vehicle. The blonde agent left her vehicle and peeked inside the jeep, opening the glove compartment. A single key lay inside. Madlax grinned as she held the key while walking towards the house.

The agent pushed the door slowly as she stepped inside, leaving a bit of dirt from her boots on the welcome mat. She closed the door carefully behind her as her eyes began to adjust to the darkness. She decided to follow the faint sliver of light that seemed to emerge from deeper inside the house. She quickly encountered the living room, sparsely furnished with only the most necessary. Madlax noticed an old wooden rectangular table with several objects scattered over, including a box of 9 mm ammunition, lube oil, and a weapons cleaning kit. She placed the key at the table, hesitated for a few seconds, then took off her holsters and left her twin Sigs and the clips she kept inside the pockets of her jacket. She felt much lighter now. The agent was about to make her way towards the kitchen when the sight of a recliner caught her eye. Without giving a second thought, she slumped over the chair with a sigh.

"Hmm, comfy…I could easily get some much needed shut eye here" she mumbled lazily.

"Why sleep on that recliner when there's a very functional and far more comfortable bed inside?" a female voice that seemed to come from the kitchen commented with a slight playful tone.

Madlax opened an eye and smirked. "Well, I don't know my way here yet and this seat seemed comfortable enough too, but I'll keep your offer in mind."

"I hope so; you'll end up feeling worse than you do now if you sleep there. There's a nasty spring that makes a bothersome lump at the seat" the woman said as she came out of the kitchen. Madlax glanced casually at the former Elite Guard leader as she paced towards the living room. Limelda Jorg was dressed in a robe, her long, dark hair falling casually over her shoulders. The agent's gaze lowered, focusing on a barely noticeable bulge at her leg. She deducted it was a concealed gun holster strapped at her thigh. The agent smiled inwardly. The likes of Limelda Jorg and herself would seldom part from their weapons for too long, even at the solitude of their safe havens. Out of instinct, she casually raised her legs and brought her knees up to her chest, discretely feeling the concealed knife at her boot. The sniper held up a glass with an amber colored beverage.

"Care for a drink?" Limelda offered as she eyed the agent with curiosity.

"I don't care much for spirits actually. Tea would be nice though."

"I'm on it" replied the sniper as she returned to the kitchen. Madlax rested her chin against her knees, allowing a long sigh to escape her lips. She had always acknowledged her former rival was an attractive woman but seeing her dressed casually, the usual hard countenance of her face softened, it had left the agent momentarily mesmerized by the sight. She had been driving for hours, struggling to keep a low profile from the government troops and possible remaining Enfant goons and yet, at the presence of the sniper, fatigue seemed to inexplicably fade in favor of an expectant curiosity and exhilaration she couldn't quite comprehend. It was the same curiosity and same anticipation she had felt whenever they faced in a duel and each faceoff piqued her curiosity more and more, wishing to go deeper into the challenge that was Limelda Jorg.

Instants later, the sniper emerged with a cup of the soothing, steaming beverage.

"Here, I brought this because I guessed this suited you better. Hope the taste is of your liking. I'm not much of a tea drinker."

"That I can see" the agent commented with a sly grin. She brought the cup to her lips and drank a sip. "Perfect. Not too sweet, not too bitter. You even got the temperature right."

"Guessed I read your tastes well" replied Limelda with a grin of her own. She turned a lamp on and sat on a nearby futon facing her guest. "So, did you have any difficulties finding this place?"

"You chose this place well and adding the cammo net was a brilliant touch, but you know that I didn't need to follow any directions. I just needed to sense you." Her remark brought a pleased expression on her companion's face.

"You look exhausted" Limelda quipped. Her face suddenly sobered. "Madlax, what happened to your arm?"

"Oh that? Don't worry. It's just a scratch."

"A scratch doesn't bleed that much and you know that." The sniper stood up and knelt beside the girl as she held the bandaged forearm. Madlax winced but did not utter a word.

"Does it hurt too much?"

"Nah, I had far worse. It's just infected but it will heal properly soon."

"Nonsense. Let me get you something for that."

A few minutes later, the former officer began cleaning the wound carefully as not to inflict any further damage.

"How did you get that?"

"After we parted ways and I completed Three Speed's mission, on my way back I had the unfortunate misfortune of finding myself in the middle of a rather nasty gunfight. I found my way out but not without a parting gift.

"I see" Limelda commented as she applied fresh dressings. The wound was a superficial bullet graze but the makeshift bandage that Madlax had applied on the haste did not properly contain well the bleeding.

"There. This should do the trick" the brunette said as she finished applying the clamps to the elastic bandage that covered the dressing.

"Uhum…" the agent replied absentmindedly. Her eyes studied her hostess with curiosity. Her gaze paused upon noticing the bandages over the elder woman's shoulders.

"You have your share of wounds too."

Limelda shrugged. "They come with the territory, just a consequence of the job I've learned to accept."

"Hear, hear" Madlax retorted, sipping at her tea.

The brunette remained silent for a few moments studying pensively the blonde agent's face while she enjoyed her beverage.

"And how's that other wound doing?" Limelda ventured to comment while pointing at the girl's torso. "I didn't expect it to heal so quickly…" her face contorted in a nervous, apologetically expression.

"Oh, you mean the shot I got from you at the jungle?"

Limelda's mouth contorted, looking now downright contrite. "I'm sorry for that… I just didn't want you to leave me behind with the harshness and loneliness of the truth."

Madlax offered the sniper a sympathetic glance. "I know. I was able to see through the facade and realized you never meant to hurt me. Besides, it never made much sense to me to kill you anyway."

"And you didn't even when you had the chance and the reason. I owe you that much."

"No Limelda, it's you that I should thank for watching over me all this time. Besides, my wound is gone. See?" the girl said as she stood up momentarily and lifted her shirt. Limelda coughed as she stared at the place were at least a scar was supposed to be. Nothing. It was as if she had never been shot.

"That is quite a remarkable healing process Madlax" Limelda commented admired.

Madlax closed in on the former officer and took her right hand and brought it towards her abdomen.

"Feeling better now?" the agent inquired with a smile. The sniper nodded in affirmative as her hand traced the wound that was supposed to be and wasn't there under the curious gaze of the girl. A tense silence ensued as Limelda's fingers lingered over the agent's soft skin. Suddenly, she pulled back and sat on the futon again. Limelda was so distraught that she missed the disappointed look on Madlax's face.

"I just hope you don't consider me scary anymore" the former officer commented with her composure finally regained.

"No, not really" Madlax replied with a lopsided grin as she finished her tea. "Just to be on the safe side, I won't lower my guard too much around you. But truth to be told, you intimidated me because I feared you and respected your skills…I felt you were dangerous and yet I couldn't help but to be drawn to you."

"Is there any way I can convey my apology for pestering you so much?" Limelda queried with an impish tone on her voice.

"Surprise me."

Limelda laughed heartily, delighting at the sheer audacity of the younger woman's comment. "I might have many things that I could propose to you, but I believe a warm shower is what suits you best right now. You can put your clothes to wash while you rest."

Madlax became pensive for a few seconds, tapping her chin with her index finger. Finally, she stood up and replied pleased: "now that's an offer I can't refuse."

Limelda chuckled. "Okay, bathroom is down that corridor to your left" the sniper affirmed as she walked towards her room and instants later, emerged carrying some towels.

"Here" the dark haired woman said as she handed the agent the towels. "Is this a good enough token of my apologies?"

"Hmm, it's a start but I know you can do better" Madlax replied with a wink as she made her way towards the bathroom with her hostess closely behind.

"Oooh, you have a bathtub!" the girl exclaimed as she began to peel off her clothes.

"Aha" the elder woman replied as she gathered the discarded clothing. "There's a spare bathrobe you can use, as well as extra toiletries."

"Thanks Limelda" Madlax replied, her senses now concentrated fully on the warm spray from the shower head. Limelda smiled inwardly as she departed the bathroom.

About half an hour later, Madlax emerged surrounded by a cloud of vapor and a towel over her shoulders for her damp hair. Humming a tune contentedly, she adjusted the bathrobe that Limelda had left her and began pacing unhurriedly towards the kitchen. Suddenly, her body straightened and she stopped, her head glancing backwards as if she were looking for something, or someone.

"I don't think that the corridor makes for a good hiding place. Not even for an accomplished sniper like you Limelda." A smirk hung from her lips. "Were you stalking me?"

Out of the shadows, the sniper emerged, her face reflecting the disappointment of the botched "ambush". She raised her hands in a gesture of defeat.

"I though I hid well. I could swear you have a spare pair of eyes on your back." Frustration laced her words as she closed in on the agent.

"It's not that you silly. It's just that I was able to perceive you, just like I'd always have" Madlax replied matter of factly.

The officer approached the agent with a pensive expression. Her almond shaped eyes acquired the intense glimmer Madlax remembered from their many duels. It was a glance she knew quite well. Deep inside, she knew she had been had been eagerly anticipating that glance since she entered Limelda's home. The brunette now stood mere inches from her, scanning her face in expectation as if waiting for a signal. Madlax locked eyes with her and smiled. Determination flickered on the elder's woman's dark orbs. "Madlax" she whispered in a velvety tone. "I wonder if you were also able to anticipate this…" and without any warning, the sniper brought her lips against the agent's in a soft, leisurely kiss. After a brief moment, Limelda dared to pull back, as a silent question hung on the air. Madlax cocked her head slightly to her side as she met the sniper's questing glance.

"To be honest, I had a good idea of your intentions."

Neither of them would later recall who made the initial move. They would only remember that instants later they joined again for a long, effusive kiss. As if in cue, they searched for each other almost frantically, pushing aside the games in favor of a bolder approach. Limelda's lips familiarized with every inch of the blonde's face and neck, her fingers running down the silken tresses of the golden hair. Madlax sighed as the sniper nipped at her earlobe, her breath warm against her skin.

"You have no idea from how long I've wanted to do this" the sniper purred against her neck.

The agent was unable to retort. Her finally tuned senses capable of sensing the enemy in the distance were now overwhelmed by the sensory onslaught. She inhaled deeply, filling her nostrils with scents of laundry detergent and a musky aroma, of tea and a faint yet lingering trace of gunpowder. She savored the taste of whisky at the tip of the tongue, wondering if Limelda would be bothered by the garlic from the pasta she had on her way here but judging by her enthusiasm, she had the certainty that would not be a discouragement at all. Limelda intercalated kisses and nibbles from the base of the neck on her way towards her face as the girl kept her close with arms linked around her shoulders.

"Madlax, I can make you forget her."

Madlax placed her hands against the officer's cheeks, gazing at her intently.

"That is not necessary Limelda Jorg. I don't want to forget her. I had already made up my mind before…"

"Shh, you don't have to say a word. I understand" the brunette replied huskily as she steadily began to push Madlax backwards until the blonde's back was against the wall, cornering her. 

Limelda initiated a relentless assault with Madlax anchored firmly to her shoulders. The sniper sensed the younger woman's left leg rising until it clung firmly to hers. The soft cloth of the bathrobe slipped aside to allow the brunette a closer view of the agent's toned thigh and she followed the sudden urge to run her fingers over the pale skin. Madlax moaned against her ear in return, violet eyes firmly shut, feeling how she descended into a smoldering haze she had only hinted at on their duels. Her breathing quickened as Limelda began to untie the belt when all of a sudden, she stopped. Madlax's lids flung open as her eyes focused intently on the elder woman's face.

"Madlax, I… I can't…I don't want to force myself upon you." The sniper inhaled deeply, resting her weight on one arm against the wall.

The agent brushed aside the mane of lustrous dark hair that fell over her right shoulder.

"And who said anything about you forcing yourself upon me Limelda Jorg? I'm here out of my own will."

Limelda stared at the agent in utter confusion. The girl simply smiled and gathered her face on her hands, bringing her lips close to hers for another kiss. Her fingertips slid down her neck towards firm shoulders, tracing the irregular fabric of the bandage. Limelda fought to let go of the inner reins that made her hesitate but as Madlax began to caress her shoulders, a worry rang an alarm in the last conscious space of her mind.

"Gods, I can't believe I'm admitting this. Even if I didn't mean for it to happen, deep inside, part of me rejoiced because it meant that I was going to have you for myself."

"You wanted me that badly?" Madlax uttered the question already knowing the answer, but she needed to hear it from her, she needed to know that she too was unable to ignore the irresistible attraction that pulled them together over and over anymore. It was selfish, maybe it was an affront to the memory of her fallen friend, but try as she might, Madlax wasn't willing to let go of this connection that reaffirmed her very own existence.

"I don't want you, I need you Madlax. You are the only thing that is real to me" Limelda replied vehemently.

"And you are real to me too, and that's why I want you."

Limelda linked her arms around her waist tightly, claiming her mouth once more as Madlax fiddled with the belt of the robe. The blonde's palms slithered inside, tracing with curious fingers the sloping curves of a narrow waist and toned thighs. The girl raised an eyebrow when her exploring hands encountered the rough surface of a gun holster. Without hesitation, she knelt and began removing the holster. Her ears caught the sudden light gasp that escaped the elder woman's lips. Madlax brought the weapon out, a Beretta, and observed it with amusement and nostalgia. Memories of the countless times she had been staring at the silver tip of the barrel as she pointed at the sniper with her own gun were triggered. She put the gun back inside the holster as Limelda stared at her puzzled.

"You don't need this anymore. We now have other ways in which we can communicate" Madlax affirmed as she let holster slip through her fingers.

"What do you want from me?" the sniper murmured expectantly.

Madlax stood up, and she simply took the former Elite Guard leader's hands and placed them over her waist. As her lips curved into an enticing smile, she replied:

"Please continue Limelda Jorg."

* * *

Madlax opened he eyes and stared at the ceiling for a few seconds. She was used to wake up on strange places due to the nature of her work but even without having to peek at her side, she understood this time was different. For starters, she was sleeping not on a cot or on the floor but on a bed, albeit it wasn't hers. She seriously doubted that she could return to her place for a while, much less sleep on her couch. Here, the agent felt warm, rested and relaxed, always signs of a pleasant night. She sensed movement beside her and glanced, already knowing what she would see.

"You sure look harmless, even cute in your sleep Limelda Jorg" Madlax thought to herself. The agent was about to stand up when she realized her clothes were amiss. She scanned the room and noticed the bathrobe she had been wearing last night on the floor. She quickly scooped it and put it on while flashing a wistful grin, making her way towards the kitchen.

Dawn began to fill the day with its invigorating light. Madlax sat on the balcony, sipping from her cup, feeling the soft wind tousle her hair and refresh her face. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, her nostrils filling with the scent of grass and morning dew. She sighed. The borrowed bathrobe had her unmistakable scent and her mind reminisced of what had leaded her this moment. It wasn't that she didn't expect Limelda to make a move. She was quite aware how her mere presence impacted her former foe but it was her own bold reactions what still bewildered her. Perhaps it had been too soon, yet she found it hard to feel sorry of what had happened.

"My robe really looks good on you. Too bad I didn't get to see it on you for longer…"

Madlax raised an eyebrow as the sniper approached her with an impish grin.

"You shouldn't complain now. You were the one who decided I had been wearing it long enough last night."

"I'm not complaining…it was worth it."

"I'm glad to hear that. To be honest, I had the very same opinion about yours."

"Oh really? Guess the lounging around at home doing nothing look does have its advantages."

Madlax nodded as they both chuckled. Limelda rested on the balcony, her senses focusing on the quietness and solitude of her surroundings.

"Madlax…" Limelda uttered with a more serious tone.

"Uhum?" she muttered as she drank the remainder of her coffee.

"Do you regret it? Do you regret any of this?"

Madlax brought her cup down. "No. Why do you think I should regret it?"

"Don't you think it is wrong?"

"Limelda, what do you consider it is the real wrongdoing here? That two people out of mutual consent share an intimate moment or that a whole country tears itself apart because of a false war?

"Yeah but that's different. I mean…you and I used to be enemies…I did terrible things and now…" Limelda stammered, struggling to convey her thoughts.

"It is not. War hurts people. What you and I did hasn't hurt anyone as far as I know."

Limelda eyed the agent with a grin. "Quite the opposite I'll say" she admitted.

"And you Limelda? Do you have any regrets?"

The sniper shook her head. "I have none. It's just that everything happened so fast…"

"Things progressed rather quickly" Madlax conceded "but you and I acted out of a mutual connection. If I deny that I'll be dishonest with you and with myself and I'm through with deceptions and lies. All I know now is that I can finally see myself as a living being, not a false existence, and you of all people always saw me as that. We are kindred spirits Limelda Jorg; we've survived this war and we were forced by it to burden our consciences with sins. But we are finally able to grasp the truth."

"Madlax, I want to leave all falsehoods behind and to lead a life I can feel is real but to admit none of what I did before mattered at all is hard. I'm afraid I might lose my way again."

"You don't have to because now you have a friend that understands how hard is to live with the burden of a false existence."

Limelda smiled. "Thank you." Her gaze went towards the agent's bandaged forearm. "How's your wound doing?"

The blonde agent extended her arm and moved it in a circular motion. "I believe it has healed." She began to remove the bandage. Aside from some redness, it was impossible to tell there used to be a bullet wound there.

"That is so remarkable! There's not even sight of a scar!"

"You're wrong Limelda. I'm scarred all over inside, but because of them, I know I've existed in this world."

"And you should never doubt that again" the sniper said as she placed a quick peck over the girl's forehead. "Make yourself at home while I grab some coffee" Limelda said. The former Royal Guard officer was about to leave the balcony when Madlax grabbed her hand. Limelda turned around and before she could utter a word, Madlax enveloped the brunette in her arms.

"Limelda, dance with me."

"Now? This is madness you know…" the sniper replied as she linked her arms around the agent's waist.

Madlax brushed aside locks of raven-colored hair from Limelda's forehead.

"If this is madness then I want to go insane with you."

_- Fin -_


End file.
